The SOUL of Wedding Officiating

December 1987, Portland, Oregon.

I stand center stage in the couple’s living room to officiate my first wedding. With pounding heart, sweaty hands and a bright red face, I am obviously nervous. The couple stands before me, the best man on my left and the matron of honor on my right. The audience is already sound asleep and snoring. Three dogs and a cat.

As I move through the script and gain a little confidence, I start to relax. By the time I say, “And I now joyously pronounce you husband and wife,” I am hooked and committed! I have discovered a major aspect of my soul’s purpose, and I know I will be officiating for the rest of my life.

Officiating weddings and coaching officiants has been one of my greatest joys. Now, 37 years and over 1000 weddings later, I feel the same joy, passion and delight. Fortunately for couples, I now show up without the nerves. With experience, comes calm. With experience, comes knowledge. With experience, comes a few opinions.

Being a wedding officiate is fun, an honor and completely soul driven. Indeed, the most influential person at a wedding is the officiant. As officiants, we set the tone, pace and quality of this live, never-to-be-again event in a couple’s life. It is a serious responsibility, although it is never meant to be solemn. 

I could never say, “I have seen it all,” because each wedding is a unique, living celebration of two people’s love for each other. The players and situations are constantly changing.

With every wedding, I learned more about myself and developed a deeper sense of gratitude for being able to live my soul purpose. Every couple has been a delight to me. I give thanks for the opportunity to serve each of them. As a wedding officiant coach, I have watched nerves turn into confidence, mistakes be the compelling factor for excellence and well, love expressed in the most marvelous ways.

For What Reason?

The question to ask about a wedding is, “For What Reason?” Why is so much time and effort put into an event that can be stressful, time-consuming, costly and exhausting? Why is so much time and effort put into an event that has a low success rate? The answer can be found with the wise old sage, Lao Tzu, who wrote more than 2500 years ago:

“To love someone deeply gives you strength. 

Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.”

                                                               — Lao Tzu

I agree with Lao Tzu. Love makes it all worthwhile. The expense, the effort, the stress, the joy, the fun of it all makes a wedding event worthy. Love is the answer. Love is the driver. Love is the soul. Love is the artistry in each and every wedding.

Officiating is an honor, a blessing and a joy. I hope you delight in every wedding you officiate.

Jody Hill Stevenson

Wedding Day Wisdom